“When you start to feel afraid to go after the things you want, the dreams you dream, the love you desire remember you can have all the wishes of your heart and the hopes of your soul if you just believe in yourself. Believe in your light. Believe in your worth. Believe in your strength. Believe in your capability. You can do it all, just believe in yourself and keep going. Eventually you’ll get there. Believe that. I do!”—
“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.”—Chuck Palahniuk (via shetakesflight)
“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.”—Jonathan Safran Foer (via loveyourchaos)
If you look up the definition of beauty in Webster’s dictionary, you’ll notice that…no where does it say you have to be more emaciated than every starving child in Africa to be beautiful.
Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and ages. Beauty is unique. Beauty is quirky, fun, and strange.
Think about it, if we were all size -0, cookie cutter barbies, with all with a choice only of three hair styles, all with the same silicon double-Ds, the same, “clean, fresh” makeup…are we really beautiful?
Embrace your unique beauty. People will remember your uniqueness much longer than a set of purchased boobs.
“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.”—Siddhartha Gautama (via myquotelibrary)
“So, the compassionate person is usually sweet. Quick to love, slow to anger. Feels very much that they can make a difference in anyone’s life. I love this type of person, because they are always pretty happy. They’re like a good painting in a room or something. Meaning, you don’t always have to know they are there, but when you turn your head and notice them, you just feel better.”—Jason O’ Toole (via themorninglight) (via themorninglight) (via elizabethmabel) (via something—unpredictable)
“That weight you’ve placed upon your shoulders is going to crush you. Take it off. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to have it all together. You don’t need to please everyone. You don’t need to be anything or anyone other that who you are. You are more than good enough. Who you are is beautiful. Who you are is loved. Who you are is special is more ways than one. Place that heavy burden on the ground. Throw it into the sea. Expel it from your being. You will be lighter in mind, body, and soul. Live in that freedom of the true you.”—
I feel like, the time has come for me to finally take a stand. A stand against everything. I’m tired of being told what I can and cannot do. I’m tired of being treated like a child, over the silliest of things. Tired of being taken for granted and taken advantage of. Tired of everything. It’s my life, and I want to live it the way I want to. I deserve to be happy, and I want to do just that. Do what makes me happy.
This is a question I’ve been asking for a long time. It’s not so much that I’ve been a victim, as that I think of other victims…the ones not totally insulated in the all-powerful armor of, “I don’t give a fuck.”
But, honestly, when I got chucked headlong into this phenomena, I really believed this was a passing fad, and would die out in time.
I also believed the statements made by everyone’s parents when I was little, and exposed to bullying: I quote, “If you ignore them, they’ll get bored and go away.”
Imagine my surprise, countless years later, to realize that this isn’t the case. I’ve been under fire for years, for everything about me. For the admittedly lousy fanfiction I wrote as a twelve-year-old kid, for my art, no matter how good, bad, or otherwise. For my appearance, and, for my religious beliefs and practices.
What fascinates me about my lovely little band of “trolls,” is that, in all these years, I have refused to engage with them. I bluntly refuse to enter a verbal sparring match with them, because I stand nothing to gain from lowering myself to that. I’ll only give them more ammunition.
So, in all these years, I have not spoken directly to them. I mind my own business online. If someone approaches me about my beliefs, I’m happy to speak about it. But engage in a verbal war with these trolls? Absolutely not.
At one point, a couple of years ago, I did openly invite the primary individual writing about me to contact me. I would like to speak with him, hear what he has to say. I would like to know what his issue with me is, and what motivates him to spend so much time making fun of me. What does he get out of it?
But, I’m emotionally untouchable, inclined either to laugh at my critics, pity them for the life they’re squandering, or ponder their motives.
But, what about other people who have been victims of this phenomena? What affect does such baseless, mindless cruelty, a deliberate attack to bring someone down, have on…the twelve year old kid posting their very first Twilight fanfic online?
Here’s a fact, children: the first story written, by ANYONE, is going to suck!! And, there is no one immune to that reality! I’m certain even the first drafts of Tolkien’s masterpieces were certifiably God awful.
The first draft of my first novel…was absolutely cringe-worthy. And, all these years later, I see that. I recall proof reading someone’s first fanfic…there was, in the first chapter, a three-page dialogue between two characters…it was literally three pages of:
"I love you!"
“I love you more!”
“No, I love you more!”
“Oh my God, I love you!”
I’m not going to tell you who this person was, but, we still laugh about it together today.
So, all of you, tell me: what makes more sense, when critiquing a story? Viciously ripping it to shreds, and telling the author to go jump off a bridge? Or being constructive, and helpful in your review?
My review for that dialogue mentioned above went something to the effect of, “Sweetie, I know this is your first fanfic, but this is getting vomitous. Your characters have said variations of the phrase, “I love you,” twenty million times in three pages. A more realistic dialogue between two people in love might be, [_______]. Keep writing, and you’ll get much better. You have a lot of potential, and I’m looking forward to your next chapter.”
In exchange, a bunch of years later, this same author critiqued a recent story of mine, pointed out that I still suffer from God awful redundancy syndrome, and sent me a file called, “1001, synonyms for Said.”
My point is that authors and artists stand a lot to learn from each other, and can all grow and improve, as long as we stay positive, and upbeat, have a touch of humor, and find the positives in the work, no matter how queasy you might feel from reading, “I love you,” a million times over.
No one has ever benefited at all from someone vicious bully (who, btw, doesn’t even have published fanfiction, or art) telling a fledgling talent that they’re terrible, and should kill themselves.
In the age of social networking we’ve entered into, superstars are being discovered on Youtube. Success stories like Justin Bieber have sparked a wave of kids (and adults), with dreams of stardom are following that trail, hoping to be discovered.
Tell me, if you’ve never sung a note in your life, and can’t carry a tune in a bucket, as they say, do you have the right to tell that really shy girl with a tiny, meek voice, that she’s awful, talentless, and should never sing again?
No. No, you absolutely do not. As someone who did their rounds in the performing arts in school, and little paying gigs here and there, I know, people seriously pursuing fame are going to hear, “no,” a million times a million times over, in hope of hearing, “yes,” just one time.
A “troll,” being unqualified to detect talent, untrained in such areas as either auditioner or interviewer, should not have the audacity to dare try to crush the dream out of someone.
Perhaps it would be more prudent to find dreams of your own? Or did you aspire from childhood to be a faceless, nameless ass, getting some incomprehensible cheap thrill out of making someone else feel bad about themselves.
From the armchair perspective of a would-be victim, I don’t think this serious, and ever-escalating problem is getting enough attention in the public eye, and I think active steps need to be taken to secure legislation against this sort of unacceptable behavior.
Steps need to be taken, or we’re going to continue hearing stories on the news of victims of cyber-bullying committing suicide. Those tragedies will continue, and I would venture a guess homicides will happen too, as fragile victims get pushed over the edge.
When does it cross the line?
I understand, legislation against cyber-bullying is a logistical nightmare. We’re being tasked to create regulations that don’t trample one individual’s right to freedom of speech, while simultaneously protecting the victim’s right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That’s a problem to start with…added to this issue: bullying is very subjective. It’s impossible to regulate objective guidelines, because every victim has different perceptions of the severity of the bullying.
An attack that might make one person laugh, and dismiss the bully as a lifeless loser, and pay them no mind…might make a different victim kill themselves, or a third pull a gun and open fire.
And so, I understand this is not an easy thing to institute laws against, but at this point, steps have to be taken.
^ * * * ^
From my guides:
The motherly guide: “I’m uncertain what action would be legally appropriate in these situations, but this is a tragedy all around. To those of you fallen victim to this behavior, hold your head up, and ignore such cruelty. But, don’t give in to hatred. You don’t know what motivates the bully…rise above, and move forward.”
And, from the friend (mind you, this is a direct message…uncensored against my better judgement): “Ignore them. They’re insecure, lifeless losers, and not worth the anxiety or tears, or giving up on your dreams. Come on, everyone, let’s all join hands in the happy affirmation that karma will bitch slap them off a cliff in due time. Cheers!”
^ * * * ^
That’s going to do it for this entry. I would invite, and encourage all of you to get involved in this debate. I’m speaking extensively on this subject right now, and am collecting stories of cyber-bullying, and it’s effects. If you’ve been a victim and want to be involved, even just in sharing your story, please feel free to e-mail me at
Your identity will be kept private, your story used only as examples of why this is a problem that must be addressed. And, at least, know you have a fierce friend in this fight.
Apparently, my thoughts on this subject are too long for one post. So, we continue!
Why do we all have to rip each other’s throats out, over, quite literally, everything? This spans all subjects, from religious practices, politics, sexual orientation, down to the fist fight I recently encountered, between two adult women, ripping each other’s hair out.
Why? Apparently, these were members of “Team Jacob” (Twilight, as I understand?) trying to kill each other over who loved him more.
Charmingly ladylike, children. Here’s a notion to ponder for all fangirls: can’t you all enjoy each other’s company, share in your similar interests, and accept that which ever male you’re fighting over, real, fictional or otherwise, will ultimately make his own choice among you?
^ * * * ^
Here are your thoughts to consider:
1.) Before we write off Islam as evil, have any of you actually spoken to a practitioner?
2.) Next time, before you tell someone they’re absolutely wrong, ask them in detail of their reasons for whatever their side of the discussion is. Maybe you’ll learn something.
^ * * * ^
And, from my guides. There are four you’ll hear from regularly. For now, I’ll prefer to only identify one by name. You’ll hear from Sephiroth, my husband, frequently. His energies are closest to mine, so hearing him is easiest for me.
There are three others. The second that comes through is a woman. I’m not comfortable disclosing her name yet, but I’ll tell you a bit about her personality. She is, without a doubt, the kindest, most compassionate soul I’ve ever encountered. She embodies unconditional love, in a motherly, nurturing essence. Her hobby is poetry, and her favorite color is yellow, for happiness.
The third embodies the energies of a supportive friend. He’ll leap to your defense in a heartbeat, and cheer you up if you’re down about anything. His advice isn’t always best, at least, not without serious editing, but if you need someone with a sharp wit, and razor tongue to chime in snarky, sarcastic contents, he’s great. His favorite color is red.
The last in my resident purveyor of inner peace and enlightenment. He comes from a background of Buddhism and Hinduism. His personal message involves teaching people the benefits of mutual respect and compassion, and always striving to learn and grow. His favorite color is white, for purity.
He’s the one that most wants to comment on this entry. “Remember, no conflict in history has ever been resolved by two adults incoherently screaming at each other. Only through a willingness to communicate can a resolution be found.”
In light of starting these discussions, I think the most important concept to touch on first is, “coexist.” I’m sure most of you have seen a bumper sticker with that word on it, with each letter fashioned in the shape of a different religious symbol.
What reaction do you have to this idea? Are you for, or against this idea? Do you think our society can ever COEXIST, without prejudice or hatred in the major subjects, like religion and politics? What about minor disagreements?
Personally, I fail to see what’s so hard about this concept. Why is it that most of humankind immediately goes into, “I’m right, you’re wrong, black and white, no questions asked.”? Is it such an impossible stretch to imagine, that instead of beating the rest of the planet liberally around the head and neck with your religious text of choice, perhaps try to understand the perspective of the other person?
Why is it such an impossible concept to imagine sitting a sampling of representatives from each religion down together, to talk about their beliefs, to learn from each other?
I consider myself a student of life, open to all possibilities, all beliefs. I was born Catholic, but after my experiences started, my beliefs evolved, and I adopted different practices. Eleven years later, I’m somewhere inbetween a devout Catholic, and a witch…and not accepted by either group because of it!
However, when talking to people about religion, I always go back to a very famous philosophy, that, frankly needs to be published in gigantic letters on every easily visible place in the country:
"And it harm none, do what ye will."
Roughly translated, if you aren’t hurting anyone, believe whatever you want! Why is that such an impossible thought to accept?
I’m hitting on this subject first, because I know, as I sit here writing this, my critics (they prefer to be called trolls, apparently), will be mobilizing, they’ll undoubtedly find this blog, and they’ll proceed to rip every entry to shreds, regardless of the subject.
I would like to offer a formal greeting to this corner of the internet. My name is Julia. I have a handful of other places online that I once frequented, and have decided that I should set up shop, so to speak, for the opportunity to take on a new endeavor, in the realm of sharing words of wisdom and bits of advice I’ve gathered along my path, and speaking on certain issues that I feel need more attention in the public eye than they’re getting, and perhaps get a conversation started.
A little more about me, and my somewhat dubious qualifications to be giving advice to anyone. Let it be stated clearly here, that I’m not God, my words are not written in stone, and please don’t consider my word law. I’m not a certified therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
I’m a psychic.
For nearly the last ten years, I’ve been developing a natural psychic gift for communication with the other side. I spent much of this time alone, studying privately, drawing my own conclusions, and not especially caring to interact with the outside world.
And, I really only communicated with my primary spirit guide, my soul mate. For many years, that was all I wanted, and all I cared about: having a relationship with my mate.
It wasn’t until recently that I finally decided to make use of my gift, and use it to help people. I began studying under a very gifted psychic, and taking classes on different metaphysical subjects.
That is what I’ve been put on this Earth to do. As I post, all of you reading this will meet my husband, and my other guides, and hear what they have to say about everyday problems, metaphysical subjects, words to live by, and affirmations.
These will be sprinkled with the occasional anecdote, and random derivation off topic for something lighthearted and humorous.
I hope you all will enjoy hearing my perspective, and I openly welcome everyone, whether you agree or disagree with what I have to say, to join in the conversation! After all, it is only through discussion and the sharing of our opinions that we can all learn and grow, and take steps toward creating a place that will be more enjoyable for us all. At the very least, I hope the entries to come give you food for thought.